What is it like being a mother of a little brown boy? Well, my parents (married and together) raised 5 girls. I didn’t have brothers. I was used to girls… but now, as I grew up, I learned people look at them (brown boys) differently. They assume most come from broken homes, they assume they are unaccustomed and loud. I have to say, “stay with me, stay close, hold mommy’s hand.” I cannot let him walk the neighborhood. Even if his friends (not of his race) at school are loud… or misbehaving, he is questioned first (not at his old school, but yes, at his new school…as much as I liked them…he was). I get to know his teachers, volunteer, join the PTA board. Sure, I like doing that stuff; it is who I am, but…… I also want them to know who we really are. We are not thugs! We come from the middle class – upper-middle-class families and we are accustomed! He is brown, but he does NOT steal nor does he curse nor is he naturally loud. He just wants to be an 11-year-old boy. He isn’t looking at your daughter; he doesn’t think like that at 9, 10 or 11. He is not “fresh.”
I foster his love for chess because it teaches him to THINK BEFORE HE MOVES in all areas of life. I put him in PALS (Police athletic league), so he could like cops and they could like him. He does all the things your children do: camps, vacations, nice experiences EXCEPT I have to watch him like a hawk. When he is 16, he cannot just go to the mall like I did when I was younger, he cannot go to Kings Dominion without a parent; he must be protected. My mother hates my personalized plates. I like them. The cops know I am an educator and a mom. If I have a backlight out (that I won’t see until I am told), they pull me over and say, “where do you teach?” They know kids might be in the truck. I have to think ahead; be in protect mode all the time. I am always trying to protect him while at the same time keeping him exposed. I am scared he might have to hold his hands up one day even though he is innocent. I am afraid that even though his Papa was a cop (my daddy), he may be harassed while driving. I stay on him about what people might do to him and how he should react. I will end here. Before I go, I want you all to know that being a mother of a young brown boy is more than the nice pictures you see. It is like having an asthma attack and never catching your breath…. because…….”I CAN’T BREATHE.”
Kelly Johnson
Raising Little Brown Children 