Month: March 2017

Raising a man

Don’t let this title fool you. I don’t mean raising a man that is already grown, a 30, 40 or 50 year old man who should be taking care of his responsibilities. Nor do I mean taking care of a man that is not sick and fully capable of taking care of himself. I am speaking of raising your little Princes. Yes, our sons! Your son is the world’s next man..the world’s next leader. Why not treat them as such?! See, we are not raising kids. We are raising our future!

Don’t let this title fool you.  I don’t mean raising a man that is already grown; a 30, 40 or 50 year old man who should be taking care of his responsibilities.  Nor do I mean taking care of a man that is not sick and fully capable of taking care of himself.  I am speaking of raising your little Princes.  Yes, our sons!  Your son is the world’s next man..the world’s next leader.  Why not treat them as such?!  See, we are not raising kids.  We are raising our future!

I had these little pet names for my son and he recently told me, “no, mom!”  How devastating!  He was growing up.  He no longer wanted to be called, “stinka butt.” Shshsh don’t tell him I told!  I had to come to grips that it is okay to love, protect, hug and even kiss your son, but do we coddle?  Do we let them settle some of their own disputes?  With proper guidance and stepping in only when necessary, it is good to let children make some age appropriate decisions and settle their own disputes.  I always knew this, but it took me a while to let him settle his own disputes.  They were few and far, but the bottom line is I wanted him to be able to solve conflict and get along with others.  A book was recommended to me by a friend.  That book was “How to Raise an Adult” by Julie Lythcott-Haims.  It was a hard reality to realize we might be “over-parenting.”  This is the exact word used by the author.  It hit home.  For that reason alone, it is easy to realize that we are raising raising the world’s next men, adults and leaders. When we remember our sons may be the next CEOs, engineers, entrepreneurs,  bankers, educators, and Presidents we  certainly help them to thrive with their leadership skills. I am certainly not saying it is okay to stop being a parent.  That is never okay.  I am simply saying, we are raising men.  We need our sons and we need our men.

Kelly Johnson

The privilege of having my son participate in cotillion

The privilege of having my son participate was more than learning the Waltz. It was cultivating friendships he would hopefully have for a lifetime. It was meeting new friends that he may end up with in college. He learned skills he could use in school, at business meetings, his wedding and on his job(s) in the future. It was creating a healthy network for him and letting him have fun while doing so. It set the tone for his activities to come. Of course, every mother’s dream is to have her child represent well-that is exactly what he did.

Many have participated in cotillions and many will in the future.  The reason I am so happy is that my son participated in a cotillion with other children that looked like him.  He was not invited to participate in the cotillion with his school friends or in that area, but he did participate in the Jack and Jill Cotillion, which gave children in the metropolitan area an opportunity to learn the Fox Trot, Waltz, and Tango.  He had the opportunity to participate in etiquette classes and socialize with other children who wanted those same opportunities.  One thing I noticed when we were shopping and preparing for the cotillion, others asked, “what is the occasion,” I was quite shocked at the response I received.  While many thought it was a wonderful opportunity, I had to face scrutiny from those I expected to be happy for him.  One person asked why I made him go through that and another questioned which one as if they were shocked he was participating in a cotillion.

Thankfully for us, he loves etiquette classes and cotillion.  I have a son that loves to dance and socialize.  He thrives from social interaction.  When we went to brunch as a cotillion social event, the waitress complimented him to me, saying, “your son is so polite.”  I was so appreciative of the compliment.  I began to notice it myself.  He was passing to the right; his elbows were not on the table and he even waited until we all had our food before he ate his own.  My eleven-year-old child was demonstrating what he learned and was thriving!  My money was not wasted and my heart was glad.

The privilege of having my son participate was more than learning the Waltz.  It was cultivating friendships he would hopefully have for a lifetime.  It was meeting new friends that he may end up with in college.  He learned skills he could use in school, at business meetings, his wedding and on his job(s) in the future.  It was creating a healthy network for him and letting him have fun while doing so.  It set the tone for his activities to come.  Of course, every mother’s dream is to have her child represent well-that is exactly what he did.

I am so appreciative of the Jack and Jill Cotillion and if you ever have an opportunity to allow your child to participate in a cotillion or take etiquette classes, I highly recommend it.

Kelly Johnson

Photo Credit- Hilary Grant Dixon